Breath of Fresh Air

A Breath oh Fresh Air

Time After Time

on June 1, 2017

Twenty something years ago, when I was struggling to find my place in life after college, I recall being in the car with my mom and talking about options. She asked me what I liked to do most in my current line of work, which at that time, was restaurants. “Training,” I said, without hesitation, “Too bad there isn’t a way I can be a professional trainer.”

Today, not only is training a viable career option, but it is also a major at many colleges, and the certification options are countless. But back then, it wasn’t something people built their base from, at least not that we were aware of. But Mom helped me identify this passion, and she continued to look for ways to help me cultivate it over the years. Of course, she was my mom and I knew everything and she knew nothing, so I didn’t take her (or me) seriously. Even though it took me many years to (get clear enough to) interpret what this would look like for me, I finally made it into mine in the past few years. Training for me translated into my passion for coaching, and a Master’s degree and a personal training certification later, it’s now my day job (career coaching) and my other job (personal trainer). But our conversation was my starting point, and my progress could have started sooner had I just heard Mom.

Lesson started.

Somewhere between then and now, my mom told me she thought I would make a great yoga teacher. Mind you, this was before I had ever even taken a yoga class before (!). Of course, my initial (and several thereafter) reactions (not responses, we all know me that well by now), were negative. I didn’t even think I would enjoy yoga. I don’t like structure (again, no surprise here), and to me, that was what yoga was. (?!?)

Fast forward to my now, and I am one weekend away from completing my 200 hour RYT (registered yoga teacher) training. And I love teaching yoga. I smile without thinking when I do it and it doesn’t feel like work. (That, my friends, is the dream:  when you find what you love to do and someone pays you for it).

Lesson continued.

My point? My mom was right. And in looking back, she usually was. In fact, her track record is barely blemished. Somehow she sees things in me first; her (somewhat scary and supernatural) intuition about me is better than my own. So you would think by now this would be a lesson learned. But… not so much.

So this past weekend we were having brunch, and I was telling my Dad and her about my latest (dare-to-)dream. And the second Mom started to offer a supportive suggestion, I cut her off.

Lesson. Not. Learned.

My mom, being who she is (and I am proud of her to be!), confronted the issue (me!) and then got over it (a separate lesson I can also stand to learn). I got a (well deserved) piece of her mind, and as her hurt sank in, my heart started to scream at me.

Seriously?!? Have I not learned anything these past 40 plus years? I should be following this woman around writing down every word she says, not trying to shut her up. All of her support and advice about my life has helped build my better self. Now, obviously, our relationship isn’t all sunshine and butterflies; we have plenty of agree to disagree moments, because, after all, we are mother and daughter. But regardless of our differing opinions (on say tattoos, for instance…), when I have an idea, my mom has a proven track record for igniting my flame and getting me to go. Yet time after time I shut her down, when instead I should know my now that she is my very own magic genie – whatever I wish for she will work with me to make it come true. Now I can’t stop thinking of what she was about to tell me, because history always repeats itself, and likely it was the spark to my next start.

There is no doubt in my mind that she will share this spark with me sometime soon; she won’t hold it hostage, that’s not her style. It is more likely that she probably just forgot about this by now, because unfortunately, this isn’t an isolated incident; instead, it is a lesson I need to relearn too often. And that sucks. (ARGH! – I suck!)

But I wonder if even after all this, will I listen to her wisdom? And what about the next time, will I listen then?

In order to really learn this lesson, I have admit I have a problem and own it. And most importantly, I have to stay aware of it. It is clear that after spending more than half my years of challenging and rebelling against her (teenager until thirty something…), that shutting her out and down has unfortunately become a bad habit (aka my first reaction). And the only way to change this habit is to introduce and practice a new, good habit:  to respond instead with the patience and respect she deserves from me. I don’t want to  react anymore for bad reasons. Mindfulness has to become my mantra, not just my muse.

mom2

My lesson here is not simply that she is my secret to success; my lesson is that I need to be more mindful about my mama. ♥

This time. The next time. And time after time.

(I love you Mom!)

 

 

 

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One response to “Time After Time

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