Breath of Fresh Air

A Breath oh Fresh Air


on March 10, 2017

Last Thursday I watched myself sweat some small stuff. 

You know how sometimes you see something that is about to happen, and when it does happen it almost seems to be in slow motion? This is what I mean. In most of these cases, the something is actually happening too fast for you to stop it. But in my case, (this time!) I was able to hit pause before freak hit the fan.

Let’s face it – sometimes our radars are rigged for reaction with imposing (uninvited and unbeknownst to you) influences. Subconsciously (or sometimes consciously), our actions are affected by avoiding pain or pursuing pleasure, and or our decisions are directed by impressions (stains) of negative or positive experiences. And this isn’t always an either or / and situation – sometimes these influences role play as cause and effect.

For me – the trigger was (is usually) time – a perceived threat to a lack thereof; too many demands and not enough down time = not my best self. So it just took one more person asking me to do one more thing (that mind you I actually wanted to do) for a myriad of imposing influences to begin managing my mind, making my readied reaction a rhyme of all the wrong reasons (and “F” bombs). But lucky for me, this wasn’t my first mind-mess, so from this circle of (kind of retrospectively somewhat splendid) chaos, what spun out was a past positive experience reminding my head and heart that this stun(t) too shall pass.

And since I could see the mad in my moment, I restricted any reaction in hopes of finding the right response in 24 hours (aka the sleep on it and see how it sounds tomorrow test). 

As I awaited the results of my mind trial, I talked things out with my husband and my mom [I am lucky to have many good listeners in my life]. When I shared my story, I could hear the right side of what was wrong. The answer to my annoyances was not new wisdom; I needed to transfer my expectation of flexibility to my side of the situation, and remove it from the who / what / where/ and when-s I can’t control or change. This realization came with relief, and I knew that this meant I had stopped sweating. 

In seeking more awareness in my after, all of this made me wonder (in my best Carrie Bradshaw):

Is flexibility the remedy for frustration? And can it free us from being framed in “F”-this?

One look at life can be that when we are frustrated we are fixed, and when we are flexible we are free. In this frame, flexibility is flipping fantastic. But is it even realistic that we can friend flexible all of the time? Since we (I!) are progress, not perfection, probably not. 


But I do think this connection advocates for a much needed awareness; if we can introduce our frustrated to our flexible, it might result in less “F”- that(s). This means that practicing flexibility may just be our right remedy.

 Practice makes progress. Progress makes more peace of mind. And this pattern can prevent us from sweating our small stuff.


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