Breath of Fresh Air

A Breath oh Fresh Air

Getting Better

on February 23, 2017

humbleOne of my new year’s intentions is to be better about giving people the benefit of the doubt.

More specifically in my case, this relates to assuming people have a good reason for their behavior, removing any need for my approval (aka if I agree with the behavior or not).

For example – if someone cuts me off when I am driving, I want to choose to believe they have an emergency situation instead of assuming they are just an asshole. This leaves me in control of my positive perspective and prevents my Judge Jeni from appearing.

My intention was going good – and then I got inspired g[r]o[w] even better. Here’s my how:

A friend (Martha) and I regularly talk about a hard to handle situation she has with her manager at work (Vera). Vera makes Martha’s work environment toxic. Martha tries and tries to do right by Vera, but over and over her efforts are rejected without reason. Many of us have been there, and we know how exhausted, endless, and empty this can make us feel. It’s tough to keep showing up when you are always turned away.

Last week Martha was in a committee meeting with Vera and many others from their company. Martha had been recognized by the committee for her great contributions, and as a result she was invited to play a more integral role. She was responsible for creating the agenda for its execution. (yay Martha! [said me, not Vera]). So, titles aside, this meeting was more Martha’s show. But nothing was never enough to stop Vera slamming doors on Martha at every opportunity. This time though, other people were present for her reproach and rejection, and their whispering went more to WTF than wonderful.

Well, when I heard this story, I was satisfied. After all, Martha has suffered for months, and now Vera had publically validated her vampire side! I felt a sense of victory and vindication for Martha.

But… Martha didn’t see it that way. Instead, she told me she actually felt sorry for Vera; that despite how Vera treats her, she didn’t wish anything negative for her next.

Awestruck- I SO wanted (want!) to be more like Martha. Her higher love level of humility took my breath away.

lewisThis (happily ever) after introduced an awareness that my intention could be improved. It wasn’t enough for me to apply my right reason to positively purpose other people’s behavior – it needed to extend to keeping the karmic cycle clear. If I aspire to always add well wishes over personal priority, it allows me to hope for the best beyond the behavior and go all the way so someone else’s better.

So now – that same car that cut me off – not only do I decide it was due to an emergency situation, I also wish for them to arrive safely at their destination.

Martha changed my scene and my intention improved, getting me to my so much better [than my day before]  – all the time.

(Thank you to Martha for switching on a new light so I could see more love.)

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