Breath of Fresh Air

A Breath oh Fresh Air

Times Like These

on July 10, 2015

Life is really a series of events. We can think about these events as things that happen to us or things we happen to. Likely it’s a combination of both. In either case, I have come to realize that our struggle to understand why things happen is not as important as what we do when those things happen.

We spend a lot of time in this mind-frame – the why, the how, and the “oh woe is me”. But it makes no sense to spend (too much) time here. This time, these thoughts… they can (eventually) provide comfort, but they can also produce anxiety when there just is no answer. (and really, even if we answer the why, is there truly any truth to it or is it just what makes it all okay to us)?

Who and what we become – the character (in the story of *your* life) – is defined by how we respond (or react) to any style of life’s events. The why really has no role in our development, only perhaps in self-medicating our distress.

In my mind the why is simply a matter that we need to get over to get to living again. And in times like these, it is how we handle ourselves, what we do, that is important. One of the most telling stories is the one we tell when we fail; a story that hopefully ends with a happily ever after into recovery.

Recovery in itself is an interesting story. To some people, it is just a word; a period of rest after activity or illness. For others, it is an action- a life choice or path; a vehicle that helps them travel safely from one milestone to the next. It’s a decision that helps change and writes their story. It’s a state of mind that frees their angst, ego, and soul.

Recovery is about letting go and taking responsibility at the same time; it’s about knowing when to use which tool. It’s about understanding what we can’t and can’t control. Recovery doesn’t account for why; it is all about what and how. And this is the part of our story we can write (control).

So what does this mean?

I believe that everything happens for a reason. This is my personal belief. I have no scientific evidence of it, and it doesn’t matter if people agree with me or not. It’s just how I roll and what helps me move through things that happen that I don’t understand. So, even though I choose to accept that there is a reason, I don’t necessarily always recognize what that reason is right away (or ever). The difference here is that I have let go of needing the “why” and accepted faith in something bigger than me instead. It’s what works for me. It is what frees me. And it is what allows my soul to shine and be free to trust.

This is how my character lives in my story; searching for ways to be better than the day before, and accepting of a life I will never fully understand but am determined to find enjoyment, engagement, and fulfillment in anyway. So where I live is really in a state of recovery; I work to let go of what I can’t change, change what I can, and have the wisdom to know the difference (the serenity prayer, applicable to anyone, addictions aside).

I no longer ask why. I stopped trying to make sense of it; and most of all, I stopped owning what isn’t mine. I just deal with my cards best I can. I am always right where I am supposed to be and that’s that.

My life has been quite a roller coaster of emotion lately – definitely a ride I don’t recall standing in line for and one that isn’t ending soon enough. If I had to take this ride five years ago it would have taken me over; but instead, my perspective (recovery) kept me buckled in. I didn’t why, how, or woe. I accepted and rode on. I stayed present; and I stayed positive.

My mind won over matter, and it’s my recovery that is responsible for this. I trust myself. I trust my world. And I have the strength, courage, and most of all the support to stay in a healthy mind-frame of what’s next versus what happened.

My lesson from my life is that it’s not about what we did or what happened to us; it’s all about what we do next.

And my next is always going to be better than my last (day before), because I can make it that way.



4 responses to “Times Like These

  1. Jen says:

    Living in the present is a difficult thing to do. I admire your focus- and inspiring words!


    • jpearl19 says:

      Thanks Jen! Focus is definitely a practice that I hope becomes a routine over time. It is easy to slip backwards.. we have to always stay mindful to stay present. Easier said than done, but worth it. Sometimes you just have to get out of your own head and take a breath (of fresh air)! Thanks for reading and posting xo


  2. Maggie O. says:

    My attitude is not to cry over spilt milk, what is done is done. To dwell on the what if’s and what could have been, is energy wasted, in my opinion. Focus your energy on the now. The sun will shine again, just wait for the rays to shine in the window.


    • jpearl19 says:

      Maggie, thanks for reading and responding. I like your statement about energy wasted – this is energy that could go towards what we do next versus what has already been done. And.. you are right… one thing you can always count on is the sun rising and setting, regardless of what the day brings you.


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